I do wonder....Am I really such a bad person?

The last couple of days were an emotional rollercoaster which left me wondering about me, who I am and how people view me, but also who my friends really are and if they are truly my friends...
It all comes down to; how easy it is for other people to 'cancel' you... I know I'm not always the easiest person to hang around with..
I speak my mind, also when you did not ask for it... Through the years I've learned how to be less blunt and more respectful of other people's feelings...
Well, I think I have...
I actually do not feel it is a bad thing that I'm honest...I don't feel I attack people or judge them...
I do call you out if I feel you're doing the opposite of what you said you would or if you bend the 'rules' because it works out better for you...well, I used to.. These days I more often choose to not say anything and just see it as a better picture of you...I choose my battles...only if it hurts me or affects my world, then I DO respond...
People have often said that I am harsh or hang on to things long...is that true?
Right now, I am seriously doubting myself and wondering if allegations made are true...and continuously end up feeling like I am not a bad person, I do not change my mind every week...my principles and values have been the same for years...I do not choose what I want if it means I have to bend my own 'rules'...I expect more of myself than others do... I can’t lie…and really do not want to either…
But I find myself in a position now where I can't speak my mind if something really bothers me or people will just put me by the side of the road like a piece of trash. Well…that's how it feels…
So, I either let things happen, feel bad or sad about it but still have friends...or I tell them what I think and have one less friend...
It would be easily said that those people just were not REAL friends... ok...but why do I meet so many of them then? Is it my choice of people (if so, I am seriously worried about EVERYBODY in my life right now) or is it me? Is it something I do? Am I really that bad person but I just don’t realise it?
Why are people this way?
What has made us so spineless? Gutless? Afraid to be a REAL person? And I'm talking about myself as well...I don't say (not anymore) most things I want to say...afraid of getting punished for it

So, am I the only one living in that world of self doubt and fear?