I've come to realize...

Stole this from (wild)rice who stole it from Andrea @ My Chihiuahua Bites. It's a MeMe, and I also figured it might give people slightly more insight into my mind.

I've come to realize that my body…
…is no longer the one secure thing I can count on. Besides the effect having a child has had on it, I also feel much older and have more small things ‘wrong’ with it…It takes me much longer to heal from things and I’m no longer capable of doing things I used to be good at…
I've come to realize that my job…
…is not nearly as creative as I would like it to be. I work from home; am the office manager for our own company but I need more challenges for my creative side.
I've come to realize that when I'm driving…
…I should be happier to even have a car and the ability to go anywhere I want to go. The car broke down, can’t get it to a garage and have to rely on others to fix it…but they’re all busy, working or not capable…Not having a car with New Zealand’s distances is TERRIBLE. I really feel trapped even though I have nothing specific to go to right now…
I've come to realize that I need…
…to find a way to enjoy my life more.
I always end up thinking about the things that need to be better or need to be fixed (see above, hahaha) so I’m always busy ‘fixing’ or thinking of ways to improve… But never have the means to do it right, or do it like other people seem to do…Hate that money often is THE thing that holds me/us back from achieving things. I might have to just accept that money is not something I will own a lot of in my life…
I've come to realize that I hate…
…it when people can only think of themselves and don’t even consider other people being in the world…let alone behind them in traffic or in a shop. I feel the world is getting more ‘me-me-me-me’ and I hate it. Really struggling to find my way in this without turning into the same selfish kind of person.
I've come to realize that if I'm drunk…
…that would disappoint a lot of people as it has in the past; people for some reason want you to get drunk as if THAT would make you more fun…
Drinking is not particularly interesting to me…it just does not do anything for me. I don’t change because of it, I don’t become funny, or happier… I’m still the same…so why drink? I don’t mind being the sober driver…I love watching other people getting stupid and making sure they all get home safe while doing that.
I've come to realize that money…
…is this weird force in my life…a force that holds me back… it always seems to be too far to reach. I always seem to have barely enough to pay the bills. Other people go on holiday, go out to dinner, buy new clothes and cars…I always wonder how they do it.
I’ve worked since I was 15…never been lazy…I just don’t get it…
I've come to realize that certain people…
…are just not worth my energy.
They will do whatever fits in their life at the time and forget about all they might have said yesterday or last week… Why waste all my thinking time on them instead of fun stuff? Easily thought…now DO it…
I've come to realize that I'll always remember…
…little details and forget about big things.
I might remember what clothes I was wearing during a certain event but will NOT remember your name…
I've come to realize that my sibling(s)…
…must be in a ‘different place’ in their lives.
I’ve reached out to them for the 3d time in 2 years and again; no response… I wonder what could make you not want contact with your sister. I sincerely do not know of anything significant happening between me and them…Besides me having (sporadic) contact with our dad… Still don’t get it…
I've come to realize that my mom…
… to me is the most manipulative and dishonest person I know. I wish it was different but unfortunately it is not. All I know is that the whole family (as far as I know, last I heard) feels they would hurt her feelings too much if they were in contact with me… What kind of person would promote lack of contact between siblings?
I've come to realize that my cell phone…
… is a thing I really have for emergencies or when I get lost (still don’t understand half of Auckland suburbs)…
I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning…
..it was WAY TOO EARLY…but what can you do? When you’re toddler decides it is time to get up, you get up…
I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep…
… I wish I could have talked to my husband more but he’s soooo tired from working so hard!! I love him even more for it ‘cause I realise he misses our son lots…
I've come to realize that right now I am thinking…
…how original or interesting my answers are to you…
I've come to realize that my dad…
…just does not have a clue what it means to be a dad…
Contact would be non-existing if I would not stay in touch…I wonder why he ever decided to have kids in the first place…
I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook…
.. I never know what to write in the status…feel I need to change it each day but it always ends up to be once a week
I've come to realize that today…
… the weather is great! Which in this case means it is raining and it has been all night. We’ve been experiencing a drought over here and being on tank water, we need the rain as our water supply!
I've come to realize that tonight…
…another week has ended.
Time is just getting away from me.
I've come to realize that tomorrow…
…is my husbands’ one free day of this week so I need to cut him some slack but I also really need the car fixed… priorities suck!
I've come to realize that I really want to win…
…Mummy of the decade award.
I find myself frustrated because I’m not completely who I think I should/can be and my life is not the way I want it to be completely… but I hope I can at least be a nice mom for Jimi and have a real and warm relationship with him when he is older.
I've come to realize that the person most likely to repost this…
…is somebody I do not know. I hope they will let me know though so I can read theirs too!
I've come to realize that life…
…does not seem to get easier but I am getting better at dodging foul balls and avoiding mishaps…
I've come to realize that this weekend…
… I really want to go out and do something nice!! I should just plan something…
I've come to realize that the best music to listen to when I'm upset…
…is definitely Pearl Jam!! In general rock music does ‘it’ for me… Also love Pink and her amazing personality+talent.

I've come to realize that my friends…
…are very few. Especially moving to the other side of the world will show you who really are your friends, believe me!! It’s the people you don’t expect it from..that are the best friends
‘Real’ friends are in touch all the time as they are planning a holiday and will stay at your house, use your car-electricity and water, eat your food…etc. etc. Funny how there’s no contact after the holiday…
I've come to realize that this year…
… started really crappy with my mother-in-law passing away in nov ’09, one of my husband’s mates passing away and me miscarrying in January…
It’s been quiet since and I really feel that new things are about to happen… not really sure in what form but change is about…
I've come to realize that my husband…
… is such a loving man, he is my only real security in life and I firmly believe in him. Although not always as clear as he himself thinks he is; he is always himself. He is the messiest in his typical male way but also really tries to help out… Just wish he would not drop everything right where he stands and walk away…hahaha
I've come to realize that maybe I should…
… start to let go of things that bother me for a long time.
Just really do not know how and lack the tools right now. My husband said going to a counsellor would probably not really be helpful to me as I would already have considered anything they can come up with….lol
I've come to realize that I love…
… my life and the fact that I live in this beautiful country!! Although finances are tough I would not change it for the world!!
I've come to realize that I don’t understand…
…people in general.
I just don’t get how mean we are to each other, how selfish we can be, how wars are still a solution in some people’s mind, how being wealthy is more important than being happy, how appearance is more important than being real, how we humans think we can keep doing what we are doing and keep this planet alive.
I've come to realize that my past…
… is something that does not matter as much to me as it does to other.
I feel I have learned lots and would not have my husband and son without it. To me that has made it worth it.
I've come to realize that parties…
…are a rarity in my life these days.
Pretty hard to find a babysitter with no relatives willing or available on a regular bases… spontaneity is the thing I miss most with this.
I've come to realize that MY life…
…is a struggle with a few wonderful and amazing things that keep me going.